Audriana Sage was welcomed into the world on June 27th. It’s amazing how much love you can have for someone the minute you meet them. She instantly captured my heart.
Audriana’s birth did not go as I had planned, but I got a healthy baby and that’s all you can really ask for. This post was crazy long when I originally wrote it, so I edited out some of the details and a lot of my thought process throughout the experience. I hope someone may find this helpful.
During my pregnancy I gobbled up birth stories on blog and youtube. I read so many stories of natural births that were difficult but ultimately successful. I created what I thought was a short, realistic birth plan:
-Don’t offer epidural (I wasn’t set on going without, but I wanted to make the decision).
-If water breaks before contractions, wait 10 hours to induce
-If induction is necessary, start with breaking waters, then pitocin if necessary
– Immediate skin to skin
-Frank cuts the cord after the cord stops pulsing
After discussing with my doctor, it was modified slightly. He explained that they would likely offer an epidural. But they won’t push it on you.
In addition, due to the risk of infection, if my water broke before I was in labor, an induction would soon follow. I was fine with this, as it’s pretty rare that water breaks before contractions start.
Our doctor also explained that the waiting to cut the cord is really only helpful in preterm babies, which was not going to be the case for me.
In the end, my birth plan looked like this:
Revised birth plan:
-Preferably no epidural. I knew if I was induced, I’d likely need an epidural to manage the pain.
-In the event of an induction, break water, then pitocin
-Immediate skin to skin
-Frank cuts cord
I really wanted to avoid an induction, so when my due date came and went, I tried diy induction tactics: walking up to 7 miles a day, acupuncture, eating dates and pineapple, bouncing on the medicine ball several times a day, etc.
We met with our doctor at 40 weeks and 4 days, and I knew he would likely want to discuss induction timing. At the appointment, I was 1 centimeter dilated, which was progress but not much and certainly not an indication of imminent labor. Our doctor remeasured the baby, who was 10 pounds according to the ultrasound and closer to 9 by our doctor’s estimate.
Due to her size, he suggested we check in for induction at 10pm that night. At first I was surprised, but after processing for a few minutes, it made the most sense. Our doctor was in the hospital the next day, so if we started the process that evening, he would deliver our baby. While I wanted to wait and see if I would go into labor naturally, I knew induction was my best chance at avoiding a c-section.
As we left the appointment, out doctor suggested we go out to a nice dinner before heading to the hospital.
We went home, alerted our dog sitter, packed a few more things and then stopped by my sister-in-laws to wish her a happy birthday. Then we went to our favorite neighborhood spot, The Smith. It was a fitting last dinner as a family of 2 + dog. I went for all comfort food, their gooey roasted tomato soup and a flatbread with ricotta and zucchini.
We gathered our hospital bag, breast feeding boppy and a pillow and piled into an uber. Side note: I thought I overpacked, but I used almost every single thing in my hospital bag.
Triage Room – Induction Begins – 10pm
We arrived at the hospital and did the check in process in the triage room. The nurses were super friendly and made us comfortable right away. We were the only people in triage when we arrived. During check in the nurse asked if I had signed a proxy form, so that Frank could make decisions in the event I became incapacitated. Shifts switched before we got to it, and we asked the next nurse about it. She said it wasn’t necessary, as Frank was already next of kin, and as I had no risk factors, I shouldn’t need it anyway.
The resident and another doctor from our practice came in and put in the IV, as well as the folley bulb. Neither were painful. The folley bulb was a balloon that would stay in for the next five hours to dilate the cervix.
While we were there, all the beds in the triage filled up and we got a glimpse of what labor would be like from our neighbors.
At 3:30am, we started with a low level of pitocin to encourage things to get things moving.
My doctor arrived around 5:00am, increased the pitocin from 4 to 16 (the max is 30). In about an hour, he came back and removed the bulb. I was 4 centimeters dilated at this point.
Next up, my water was broken. Immediately the flood gates opened, I felt like a bucket of liquid had left my system.
Labor and Delivery Room – 8AM
Around 8 am, 10 hours after checking in, we were moved to a labor and delivery room.
It was a massive room with a nice flat screen TV. Frank set up the diffuser and we got settled in.
I felt most comfortable on the ball, so I breathed through contractions with Frank by my side. Soon the pain team came in again and asked if I wanted an epidural, I said I would wait.
Soon after, the doctor checked me and I was still only 4 centimeters, no progress after 2 hours of contractions. The pitocin was upped from 20 to 22. I was a little discouraged that I hadn’t made any progress. I knew it was expected that I might deliver around 5 or 6 pm, so I had to decide whether I wanted to basically just survive the next 8 hours or if I wanted to be able to relax a little and actually be able to carry on a conversation.
After another hour, I decided to get the epidural. This was by far the most painful part of my whole experience. So many people described it as a bee sting, but I felt searing pain in my spine. Honestly, it was a horrific experience and I immediately regretted it. Well, until the drugs set in and I was comfortable, albeit confined to the bed. The nurse suggested the peanut medicine ball, which basically went between my legs to ensure my hips stayed open.
An hour later, I was 5 centimeters, 60 percent effaced, -1 station. Two hours later I was 6 centimeters, 80 perfect effaced, still -1 station. I asked the doctor how far the baby had to drop, and he said -5 is the outside world, still a long way to go.
Fortunately, we were able to relax and watch the world cup.
At 4pm the doctor checked me again and found that there was no progress. He said it was time to consider a c-section.He explained that I had been on pitocin for so long that I was at risk for bleeding if I continued much longer. In addition, my water was broken almost 12 hours before, which could increase the risk of infection..
As the baby’s vitals were still great, I tried to negotiate for more time and we settled on 2 more hours. At this point, we upped the pitocin to 26 (out 30) and sat the bed straight up with my legs down, this is called throne position. The pitocin was so high that I could feel the contractions and each was painful. It felt like a ton of pressure on my pelvis, which I hoped was a sign the baby was moving down.
After an hour and 15 minutes, I felt my body was shutting down. I was in a lot of pain and couldn’t wait for the two hours to be up so I could be checked. When the doctor returned, he said that there was no change. He had brought in another doctor from the practice, probably expecting me to fight him on the c-section. At this point, I knew I had to have a c-section. I was so tired and felt so weak, I didn’t think I could have continued under any circumstance. The doctor asked if I had any questions, and I said “how long until I meet my daughter?”
The Operating Room – 6:00pm
He said that if the operating room was open, it would be about 25 minutes. I nodded. From there, a flurry of activity began. The doctor and Frank packed up the whole room in like 3 minutes. I was moved onto a stretcher bed and wheeled into the OR. Before I knew it I was being scrubbed down and a curtain was being set up so that Frank could be by my side, but wouldn’t have to see the actual surgery. An epidural is used for pain management, so they made some adjustments to mine and asked me if I could feel things in certain areas.
Everything moved incredibly quickly and I was pretty overwhelmed, a little scared and mostly sad that I wouldn’t be able to do skin to skin or have Frank cut the cord. I wish I could say I went in to things with a better mindset. As I like to research everything down to the last detail, I was completely unprepared for a c-section. I had read nothing about them beyond the very basic facts.
Within 10 minutes, Frank was in the room and a role call of the team of doctors, residents and nurses began. Then there was an overview of the scope of surgery and then everything began. I could feel pressure in my abdomen, some more significant than others, but it wasn’t painful. Honestly, it was strange being so aware of what was happening, hearing the doctor instruct what I assume was a resident was really disconcerting. However, in what seemed like a couple minutes, I heard screams ring out and my doctor announced, “congratulations, you have a 3 month old.” At 9 pounds, 1 ounce, Audriana looked huge coming out me. C-section babies do take on a lot of fluids, so she was probably a half pound more than she would have been if it had been a vaginal birth.
Someone from the pain team took a bunch of pictures for us, and then she was brought over in swaddle and placed in Frank’s arms. I was completely overcome with emotions of finally seeing my baby.
The doctor explained that the baby was disengaged and not entering the pelvis. In addition, she was sunny side up, which would have made a vaginal delivery of a baby that size quite complicated. At this point, I was just happy to have my healthy baby welcomed into the world.
The Recovery Room – 6:50pm
Once I was closed up, we were wheeled into the recovery room and I was able to hold her. Soon there after, doctors were checking my vitals and I felt a huge blood clot pass, and then another. I knew exactly what had happened based on a youtube video I watched. I informed the doctors that I thought I had passed two blood clots, and suddenly like 12 people were in the room. They were weighing the blood I lost and determined that I had lost enough that I might need a blood transfusion. Poor Frank saw things no partner should ever have to see from the hard wooden chair next to my stretcher.
Around this time, I started to feel extremely weak. I was going in and out of consciousness and felt like I was in a black out or dreamlike state. Nevertheless, I really wanted to breastfeed my baby, so I kept asking to.
Meanwhile, all kinds of things were being pumped into me. My fluids were upped by 7 fold and I was put back on pitocin. Doctors and the pain management team was running in and out. I was asked a ton of questions and lots of labs were run.
I asked if I could have something to eat since I really wanted to feed the baby and I knew I needed some calories in order to have enough energy to do so. Fortunately, our amazing nurse in the labor and delivery room had ordered dinner for me before the kitchen closed for the night, even though I told her I wasn’t hungry a half an hour earlier. I had an ensure apple juice, some broth and a few bites of rice.
Perhaps the one thing we laugh about now is that Frank was pretty much immediately handed the baby and held her for the next five hours. He had never held an infant, so he was thrown into fatherhood in more ways than one.
Finally it was time to bresatfeed. I was handed the baby and a nurse stood on either side of me and Frank at my shoulder. They helped me breastfeed for the first time.
Testing and checks continued, much of which was ensuring my uterus was firm by pressing on it – ouch. Around 11pm and Frank said that I had gotten a lot paler. The doctors and nurses called the head doctor back in. Another round of labs were ordered. This time they did not come back normal and showed extremely low iron levels. I had been anemic when I came in, but apparently now it was particularly concerning. The doctor said it was probably best to do a blood transfusion that night. I felt terrible at this point, so I didn’t even question it.
Once the blood transfusion started an hour or so later, I felt so much better within a short period of time. I looked over at Frank who was still holding the baby and told him that he should get some sleep. I remember wondering if the conversation was a dream or not. I then told him to ask for a bassinet. Soon we had a bassinet and I could look over and gaze at the baby next to me.
Around 2am, we were told weren’t going to be able to get a room that night since I couldn’t leave the recovery room, which like the triage area, was shared and quite loud, until the transfusion was finished and a new set of labs came back.
Poor Frank had another night in a hard chair, at least they brought him a second chair so he could at least put his feet up.
We both tried to get some sleep since we had been up for 36 hours at this point. Around 8am, my labs came back normal and I was officially ready to go to the mommy/baby unit.
Mommy/Baby Unit
In the hospital room, I still had a catheter and an epidural, so my ability to move around was really limited. Fortunately, the nurses were so helpful in making sure I could still breastfeed and care for the baby. I’m happy to say she was fed exclusively my breastmilk and didn’t need any bottles or supplemental milk/formula.
When I was able to get out of bed the next afternoon, I saw myself in the mirror for the first time and I didn’t even recognize myself. My face was incredibly swollen. Swelling is a side effect of the fluids you are given from a c-section, and as long as the swelling is even, it’s considered normal. Given how much fluid I took like between the c-section and transfusion, it’s not surprising that I had crazy levels of swelling over the next 3-4 days. At one point, Frank noted that my calves were as big as his. By the next day, my calves were bigger than his. I also developed cute rolls of fluid around my ankles.
While the recovery in the hospital felt slow since I had so many IV ports, the epidural and a bunch of medications that constantly needed to be administered, everything was worth it when I looked at my baby.
We ended up getting a private room for the third night, which was amazing. We had great views of the east river and the three of us ordered pasta and salad, relaxed, and watched the Yankees beat the Red Sox. It was a perfect night.
The next day, we were discharged and made our way home.
I can’t thank the hospital staff at NYU Langone enough. They were incredible and took such good care of Audriana and me. I would deliver there again in a heartbeat.
While it wasn’t the delivery experience I expected, I’m happy to say the Audriana is doing great. At nine days, she is already back to her birth weight and doing a great job eating and growing. She is in the 84th percentile for weight and 81st for height. Our doctor said that since she is clearly getting enough food from breastfeeding, we no longer need to wake her up every three hours during the night. I am still trying to stick to every three hours during the daytime.
My recovery is going pretty well. Almost two weeks in, I’m walking around normally and off all the heavy pain meds. Other than some soreness and not being able to lift heavy things, I feel mostly like myself.
I’m so excited to watch Audrey grow and develop and share her personality. Life has changed so much in a little over a week and I couldn’t feel more grateful for our little family of four.
